The words from Bethany Joy’s song “Let Me Fall” is playing over and over in my head and if ever there is a song that most reflect what I feel right now, what I felt for awhile…this is it.

—

It’s October again – The leaves are coming down – One more year’s come and gone – And nothing’s changed at all
Wasn’t I supposed to be someone – To face the things that I’ve been running from
Let me feel – I don’t care if I break down -Let me fall – Even if I hit the ground
And if I cry a little, die a little – At least I know I lived – Just a little
I’ve become much too good – At being invincible – I’m an expert at play it safe  – And keep it cool
But I swear – This isn’t who I meant to be – I refuse to let my life roll over me

—

Playing it safe, that’s me. With all my talk about chasing dreams and adventures, there’s the other part of me that is terrified. Terrified of failing. Terrified that I might have to find a corporate job again while I wait for my business to take off.

But one big thing (for me) I decided to do as the result of this song is to showcase some of my products at the galt outdoor market. I’ve been putting it off because I’m not sure if the clientale there will be interested in my products. Scary to put yourself out there but I really want people have a chance to look at my items physically, especially my wedding invitations. I still have to work out the kinks..especially the part about managing the money part of the digital sales (here’s hoping). So even if I fall…

and learning to let go of pesky annoyances. And surrounding myself with genuine people. People who genuinely care about your well-being and take the time to check in with you…regardless of their busy schedule. People who really want to interact with you, not just because no one else is around. People who put themselves in others’ shoes and have compassion and understanding. People who give more than take and appreciate and know your worth and time. This world we live in, so consumed with favorites, popularity, and the next big thing that we are losing sight of authenticity. A sense of community, a shared experience. Kids growing up to be tamed by apps on smartphones. I see it all around me, people on their phones at get-togethers. This has become the norm. This is what the children will inherit. A world divided: the have and have nots made abundantly wider by the advent of smartphones.

Let’s go back to the days where kids run in the field of wildflowers, play kings and queens and have adventures in their own backyard instead of the virtual world.

Good bye 2016, you have been by far the hardest year, but with that the realization that it too shall pass and it did. And so another year begins. To new adventures and reconnecting with old friends! To learning spanish. To moments of clarity and joy.